how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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