from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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