You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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