we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
