Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
