On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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