My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
