You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
