I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wish i was in the wii world.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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