You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
