Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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