so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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