I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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