is your mom at the bar?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
