playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
