our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
