I hate all girls vehemently.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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