I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
