AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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