Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
she smelled like a LAN party
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
