he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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