Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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