If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize