Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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