just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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