Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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