I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Randomize
