but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
this just has baby written all over it
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
