i already hear my dad disowning me
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
