i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
