I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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