I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
