It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
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I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
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I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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