U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
