Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize