this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
