If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize