Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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