I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
