Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
