woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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