hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
