Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The struggles of a small town man whore
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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