Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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