she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
