**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
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As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
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Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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