i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
