i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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