Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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