after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
