So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
