I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
