shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Do vagina's smell?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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