I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
