dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
