I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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