I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
