Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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