My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize