is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
