That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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