You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Randomize
