Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
