HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
